A Tour Through Casa de Caldwell (is that correct?)

A very brief tour through my house. The decor isn't all that great but its homey and I like it! :) Enjoy!

Cheesy post update!

Pocket sized guide to Atkins
<----- I am currently eating Low Carb..actually Atkins. I've lost 9lbs since starting bringing me from 146lbs (ish) to 137.5lbs! This is copied from my sparkpeople blog. Don't laugh..don't mock :)

Okay so the FIRST thing that always turned me off on this diet was the fact that it would be hard to work around my family's likes and dislikes. My son is easy..as long as there is something to dip in he's good but my Husband is another story. He doesn't like anything labeled "diet" "low-fat" "low carb" or "sugar free" so of course he's just difficult! That was the main thing BUT I'm seeing that as I challenge myself, learn more recipes, learn to adapt, and generally just be more creative with my cooking/choices its actually really friggen easy!

Like the other day, my husband wanted Mexican food. So we go to our favorite place. My usual order was a chimichanga smothered in cheese with rice, refried beans and pico. So yeah that was obviously out. So I freaked a little bit. Nervous about what I was going to order. I almost asked him to take us somewhere else, but realized that it would be very rude and selfish of me. So what did I do? I ordered a taco salad. I ate the insides, took off the pico (I dont like it) and ate the meat, cheese and lettuce! So that is what I mean. I relaxed was able to enjoy myself, didn't feel upset or deprived when my son and husband were gobbling down the chips and salsa and cheese dip! I felt in control and PROUD of myself! Now if only I could figure out how to handle the Japanese place LOL.

This WOE is really helping me with my self esteem. I know that sounds very silly but its the truth. Food doesn't control me nearly as much as it used to. My pants are no longer tight (in fact they are almost falling off of me!) I am not always planning my next binge, what I would eat, how I would hide the majority of it from my husband so he doesn't see how much of a pig I am! I eat. I eat very well but I don't gorge myself. I leave the table feeling satisfied and full but not stuffed to the brim. I rarely get tired after I eat. I take my vitamins everyday. I drink a ton of water everyday. I feel HEALTHY now! I may not have a lot to loose but its starting to shift away from that. It's starting to become more about how I feel then how I look! THAT is the amazing thing about this WOE..no I should say WOL because I cannot see myself stopping anytime soon! I have cravings, but they are not what drives me anymore! I can tell myself no and actually accept that. So lost story short! THANK YOU!

Edited to Add: In no way am I perfect on this diet. I still have moments where I really crave something, or I'm just a bottomless pit. Ask my friends they know! *Waves at Michelle* But they have decreased in magnitude..my control is 99.5% stronger now then it was before! That was my main point of this post! :)

Long time no see..

Yeah I know! Spank me *please* I've been naughty and neglected this blog! I have forgotten, intended to, and just plain almost gave up on blogging. BUT I'm back! So yeah!

Expect a better blog a bit longer from me later. :)

A bit of Friday LoLz for your viewing pleasure...ENJOY!!!

Friday-Yay..meh

Friday Toasty Style
up at 6am-shower/dress/coffee breakfast made
7am-11am-work shift
(during shift)-Trent gets dressed, eats, brushes teeth, makes bed
(during shift)-Trent can watch PBS or Disney (his choice)
11:15am-lunch time (pb sandwiches for Trent)
noon(ish)-free time (no tv, cleaning up, or internet)
1pm-quiet time (nap or read or schoolwork)
2pm-clean up-sweep kitchen, dishes, laundry, beds, vacuum, etc
3pm-homework, trent can play on the computer for a bit
4pm-outside for trent
5pm-whenever Colin gets home-get dinner ready, set table, quick tidies (if needed)
8(ish)-start getting trent ready for bed, reading time, teeth
9pm-bedtime for little man (mommy reads and if she's not ready to pass out, does some more homework)
10pm-mommy's bedtime

Thursday

Well today is going to be rather easy. I did a major clean up yesterday and got the things (mostly) done that I wanted. So today will go as follows (housekeeping wise)

• laundry-wash/dry/put away-DONE
• vacuum (all over)
• mop kitchen floor
  
• basics (dishes, beds, etc)

I do need to get a good chunk of homework done today! I will not post a list but I will probably be spending a good deal of time on this. I'm trying not to fall into the same trap as before.

Diet wise, I've had some more lapses, but today I'm determined to keep it. I will update with a food log for today, later.


UPDATE: Yesterday was pretty okay. I got some cleaning done. Not exactly what was on my little list but my house was in order when I went to bed.

Resolution

Okay, I've decided I won't give up. I'm going to chug along and try my best to get this crap done (school) and over with. I won't go back right away since these are my last three classes for my Associates. What I'll do is take a break. See if after a month or so I have the desire to continue then I will see what I want from there. Today I'm going to have to crank out a paper, take a couple of quizzes and finish up my readings. That ought to be fun! But hey! That's what they make ephedra for isn't it? lol

So we got our refund in and that helped A LOT! We've paid almost all the bills that we have and will have enough money to save up and enough to just blow on hats! How's that for economic stimulus!? LOL That is a big relief as money is always a problem here.

On the diet front, I got enough good carb foods to eat today so that will be wonderful :) I will get that wagon and smear something icky on it so I don't want to eat it lol. Ohkay that wasn't a good visual but I think the point is clear. I'm going to work it! I saw such a good loss those days I was good (yes most likely water but hey it was a move in the right direction lol)


That is my minor update. I won't be around much this weekend because I'm trying to get this stuff done :) Have a good one!

Typical Melissa...really....

I've lost the steam and motivation it takes to get through school. I really did have a reason once upon a time for being here. I was motivated by the idea of having a degree. Yes, I'm halfway through my last term and I should be chugging along full steam (the end is nigh, after all) but I'm finding myself lacking the energy to do my assignments.

Colin asked me some very smart and rather duh questions last night that got me thinking. (No he is not trying to sabotage me at all, he was just curious) He asked me simply this:

What will this degree do for me? What will I gain from it? What do I hope to accomplish?

I drew a blank. I used to think that a college degree would "mean" something. I would feel some kind of accomplishment at my success, but so far all I'm feeling is stress. I really used to think learning was fun. I used to LOVE cracking open a book and absorbing everything from poetry to science. I freaking used to read the dictionary to learn new words! But now, the mere thought of having another paper or another test is just too much to take. My hair is grey and I'm having panic attacks for no good reason! When did learning become less fun? Oh yeah, when I started college! Not that all my classes have sucked the life force from me, some have been swell. I really loved my Humanities classes and my grades really reflected that.

I really want to quit. I really want to chunk it and just self educate. I know it doesn't make me more "marketable" but it would be more my speed. I just hate tossing this time/money investment aside. My grades this term really are horrid and its because I just can't muster up anything resembling motivation. I really am at a loss as to what to do here. I am not really asking WHAT to do but simply for maybe a few suggestions? I know Colin would say do what I feel, and then simply state that he regrets not completing his degree and how annoying it is to avoid financial aid people the rest of his life.

I used to think that I would discover what I wanted to do with my life, after high school I was pretty much thrown into the workforce. I was told I couldn't qualify for financial aide due to my parent's income (which was most likely bull shit but oh well) and so went straight to work. Which was great, but I really had that one nagging regret (well more than just one but that was the biggest.) I just don't know what I want to do, even at 28 I have no idea what type of career I would like. I don't have a clue what I would even be good at! I'm lost, I feel like my brain is mushed up and my heart is just not into it anymore. I really am not sure where I'm going with this anymore either. I guess I'll sleep on it and try to push through? I only have like 4 more weeks left of this then I'm done.

Quick update

So just a quickie update today! Well after doing so well on my diet for three whole days (ish) I fell off the wagon..then ate the wagon. I'm trying to fix the wagon and jump back on it and get back on track. It's been hard the last few days. I spent Monday (or a good chunk of it) in the ER with Vertigo. I still don't know what is wrong with me besides the fact that I randomly seem to be getting dizzy spells and nausea. So I have meds for that now. Weee! So of course random dizziness means lack of productivity. My house is gone to pot and my schoolwork was piled up. I'm going to have to work on this now. Which is why I have that schedule down below. Hoping it will work out!

So there's my update. I'm trying to get back on track and all that lovely stuff! Wish me luck!

New Schedule?

I've decided to try something new! I hope this works so cross your fingers and hope I don't go insane!

Thursday's List (new schedule gonna give it a try)

• wake up (5:45am)

• coffee/breakfast/emails, etc

• 7am-11am-work

• (during shift) trent eats, changes clothes, makes his bed

• (during shift) trent-pbs kids/plays

• in between is first tidy up time

• 12pm-lunchtime-soup
  

• 1pm-quiet time (trent goes to his room or plays quietly in the livingroom (mommy works on schoolwork)

• 2pm-3pm-activity time (we go outside or play inside)

• 3pm-4pm-clean up time

• 4pm-5pm-reading time

• 5pm-6pm-dinner prep/cook

• 6pm-8pm-dinner/clean up/bathtime

• 9pm-Trent in bed/Mommy-schoolwork

• 11pm-mommy in bed

New Post

So sorry to have gone for a few days. I got caught up with some stuff off line lol. So today is going well. I'm getting my housework done and over with. Then i got to focus on Trent and homework! Nothing really new to update on but I figured I'd let people know I'm not dead lol

Valentine's Day and today

Well yesterday was ridiculously fun! Well except for the parts where I was taking 3 exams and writing papers but AFTER that it was awesome! My husband surprised me beyond belief! He's usually like most guys and forgets things like Birthdays and what not. So yesterday I totally expected him to just forget what day it was. He woke up (late) and was off to work quickly. I was not surprised. I figured he would call me while he was at work because he remembered what day it was lol. So lo and behold he calls me to tell me Happy Valentine's day and he Loved me. That was all I was expecting. BUT He came home an hour early, took me to my favorite restaurant, and while we were waiting (an hour long wait time) we were talking and then Trent comes up to me and hands me a box. My first reaction was "Where did you get this from?" then he smiles big and cheesy and says "Happy Valwentimes Day Mommy!"

So I open the box and this is what I found...
this isn't the best picture but its a silver chain with a silver heart shaped charm with a heart made out of amethysts (my favorite stone) and matching earrings! So I was surprised beyond belief. I really wasn't expecting that. :)

On another note, I did break my diet for that night. I'm back on it today. The 3 days that I was on the diet I was seeing a good steady loss so I am please. My landlord even commented on it! :) So today is back on track. I'm wearing my LOVELY necklace and earrings.

New Approach

Trying a new approach to weight loss. I have decided to go low carb. I won't specify just yet which plan I will pick because I honestly do not know BUT I will try as low carb as I can get and feel healthy.

I will also make myself get on the bike or put in a video as least 4 days a week for about 30 minutes or more *however long it takes my legs to go squishy*

I have joined the Low Carb Friends forum and have found a great deal of information (and very friendly people I might add!) This is helping me gather up the knowledge I need to do this the right way!

Wish me luck!
Starting weight 2/12/09-143.5
Goal weight-from 100-110lbs

HORRIBLE PICTURE WARNING! THIS IS ME TODAY (WITHOUT MAKE UP OR MY HAIR FIXED) AT MY STARTING WEIGHT OF 143.5
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Gooo Me!!!

I'll just go ahead and say that on Monday's I'll probably not post at all. My one day off is usually spent sleeping and being a totally lazy bum :) Now that that day is over *cry..weep* I am going to have to buckle down again.

Today is gonna be okay though. I have to do a few more cleaning tasks and go to the grocery store and that's pretty much it. BUT I have to study for midterms and start my papers. Yes you saw it right..paperS. I have four of them due. Yay! 3 midterms and 4 papers. awesomeness!

So probably won't be hearing much from me this week but whines.

Yesterday

So I was going strong yesterday..worked from 7am-3pm and was so motivated. Walked to the store and came home and bam! Energy levels were down to nil. Trent and I wound up taking a LONG nap at like 4pm (ish) and didn't wake up til almost 630pm! Ouch! So there went all my time that I was going to use to do homework and house work. So today I'm scrambling around trying to get it ALL done! My homework is first priority since its due tonight! I'm cursing myself that I've been such a slacker all week. I have a full week to get my homework done you know!

Anyways, I did manage to take some pictures that I think are adorable. Mostly Trent of course.

So here I sit today..still tired but I have to motivate myself to get things done! I will work out a schedule for this upcoming week, any suggestions? LOL I have to get on the ball or else the ball will roll over me!

Here is my smallish list:

• vacuum
• tidy in every room (about 5 minutes a piece)-Kitchen DONE, Mommy's Room DONE, Bathroom DONE
  
• laundry-DONE
• sweep kitchen-DONE

Have two discussion posts to make (Politics and Religion) a quiz in Religion and a written assignment to finish in English. All due tonight. I'm so smart!

Weekend Musings...

So I woke up with a song in my head. Not sure why. It was Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional..Totally not my normal music but I've heard it before and thought it was (as cheesy as this sounds) moving. Anyways, not really sure where I was going with this. But I had it in my head from the moment I woke up til about oooh now. :)

I have a big annoying list of to-do's that need doing today and this weekend. It's so daunting to know that a single moment of relaxing means that something else doesn't get done and it piles up.
This is my problem. I know I procrastinate very much. I need to work on this.

I won't post my list. It's HUGE. I will say that I will get it done :)

Anyways, my camera's battery died so sometime today I have to get new batteries :(

Well here they are! This is about 6:45a.m-8:00am (ish) Trent eating breakfast (oatmeal and milk,) he made his own bed (as you can tell,) and he helped get himself dressed. We're working on him getting more responsibilities.

Next round of pictures coming up! Be prepared! LOL

Our Day

I've started my new job (second work at home job) so today is my second shift. I am going to be working 7am-3pm, which isn't a lot in the grand scheme of things but still when you (and your four year old) are used to being "done" by 11am everyday its a bit of a change! So I'm not going to focus on much in the ways of housekeeping. I'll get the basics and my homework.

I'm really getting upset with myself! I totally leave my homework til the last minute and CURSE myself every weekend! Grr..really need to work on that! Motivation is hard to scrounge up when I'm so tired.

So today it is going to work like this...get as much cleaning done as I can while I work (if I can) then while Trent is napping/playing I will get the rest done and focus on my homework.

I have an idea about doing a "Day in the Life of.." with pictures. I don't know it sounds cheesy and I'm not sure my little camera could handle it LOL. Who knows. Gotta get to work though!

Progress!

Here is a cleaner room! Believe me with all the stuff Trent has this is the best it gets! Colin helped Trent clean it up and even cleaned out his closet!

Wonky Weds.

Well its gonna be a wonky day today! I am not gonna follow my usual schedule. I've got my first shift on my new job so that will be interesting. The last few days things have sort of fallen by the wayside (housecleaning wise) so that will be my goal today. I'm going to tidy whatever I see and get things back in order. Shouldn't be that hard.

So after I get things sorted out and tidied up I get to relax and watch LOST! :) I'm going to get everything I need to get done DONE and over before then!

Wish me Luck!

Here are shots of what I have to deal with today!

































There we go! Its not the WHOLE project of course but its a good start! You can sort of see what I'm dealing with! Later I will do a few pictures to show my progress!

Today is another Day

Well today is usually a chaotic day but I'm going to try and side step that. I went lax over the weekend and didn't stick the schedule and now I see what that gets me! LOL. I'll have to tidy as I go and TRY not to get back on track :) Here is what is on the agenda for Tuesday..

• laundry (1 load) DONE
  
• tidy bathroom-s&s, vacuum, mirror, etc
• kitchen tidy-counters, sweep, sink, table
• living room-vacuum, toy pick up
• bedrooms-general tidy

Now that is what will get me back into the swing of my routine. During the day (if I can) I'll try and take pictures so you see where I live :)

Got a New Cheapo Digital Camera!

It's totally not hi-tech or anything but Ta-Da! I have the ability to post new (not the highest quality) pictures! Here are a few (just playing with my new toy!)

Top Right to Bottom Left: Me! My trusty stove, My messy dining room table, and last my little Hamtaro!

Am I overreacting?

Okay here is the situation. I will start off by saying that I LOVE my husband. He has his faults but then again so do I. Now my biggest problem (and this totally busts my nuts) is that he HAS to have the money. If we go out and I ask him for a $20 he usually responds with "Why?" Um..so I can have some cash in my purse like a big girl?! He doesn't seem to understand that I want to have some of the cash I earn in my pocket. If we are together and have the extra cash he WILL let me buy what I want..so its not like he's so domineering (sp?) but its just annoying that I have to ask him first. We both work, albeit he does earn more than I do, and I think we should both have cash on hand...EVEN if we are together at the time.

Does this make sense? It's mainly the fact that I feel like his child if I have to ask for the cash, even if he readily gives it up. His logic is that its easier to keep track of if its in one place..but why does it HAVE to be his wallet?

The Weekend is Here! ...yay?

Well to "normal" people the weekends mean relaxing and spending time with family..right? Well not for this family. Its just a normal day. Colin works from Thurs-Sunday and is off work Mon-Weds. THOSE are our days off (well I still have my 7am-11am shift) So today is going to be interesting. The first weekend on my new schedule. I decided to be a bit more lax on the TV and let Trent watch a bit more than he has all week. He's earned it. I won't go over board.

So for me. This is the end of the month so tomorrow is PAYDAY! Yay! I hope I get my pay tomorrow but probably won't til Monday..which is A-Ok too because I'm off completely on Monday!

I do have a LOT of homework to do that is due tomorrow but I will get it done. My house is nice and tidy and so I've got LESS work to do :)

So here are my goals for today:

• eat within my calorie range and watch my carbs (shoot for the lowest I can)
  
• get as much homework done as earthly possible!
• get trent outside and running around as much as he can!
  

That should do it! I won't push too much! Basics are the only cleaning I need to do so WOO HOO.

Now I'm Starting on me..

My house is in order (ish) and now its time to start on me. Now I know that it is nearly the start of a new week but I wanted to explain how I am going to acheive my goals.

Problem: I'm disorganized when it comes to my school work.
Solution: Starting Monday I will map out (completely) my assignments (all of them) and follow the plan completely!

Problem: I don't read as much as I like.
Solution: Work in about 25-30 minutes of scheduled reading a day.

Problem: I'm overweight. I want to loose about 40lbs.
Solution: Watch my food intake, exercise at least 5 times a week for 30 minutes. Drink lots of water, cut out my junk food and get as much rest as I can.

These are my MAIN issues! Believe me I am a basket case in some areas of my life. I'm sure that this list could most likely stretch out to infinity if I wanted it to! I will just focus on these for now. :) I'm thinking this is good for a year? Any suggestions?

Sooo...tired

I'm more than tired today! I stayed up far too late with the hubby, so I'm most likely going to take a nap when Mr. Trent does. I won't like it because I have a ton of school work to do but I have to. Ugh..Mr.Colin can be so persuasive sometimes LOL.

Anyway, since I've been getting my cleaning in everyday my house has started to fall into shape. I don't have much intense cleaning today so I will be okay for a nap I think. :)

Will update when I can. Have a great day people!

To-Do's and Ta-Da's!

I don't like housework! Don't ever let anyone say that they enjoy it. They are lying. BUT it needs to be done! At the moment my son is taking his nap and I am enjoying a bit of coffee and will soon be hitting the books until he gets up. Then its back to the grind.

Here is the game plan for the rest of the day (it is about 1:35pm now)

• vacuum living room (scrub the carpet where he dropped his hot dog) DONE
  
• help him clean up his room DONE
  
• write out the list for Colin to pick up at the store DONE
  
• tidy up (all rooms) DONE
  
• let him go outside for a bit while I work on my fitness :) DONE
  
• get him inside for reading time DONE
  
• get started on dinner (tonight is pancakes for dinner night!) DONE
  
• cook dinner, clean up dinner DONE
  
• bath night-pj's time, brush teeth, more reading time, lights out by 9pm
• another round of tidy time
• more homework/refilling coffee machine, water pitcher, ice trays
• spending time with the Mr.
  
• bed for me by 11pm

My days usually start at 6-6:30am..and don't really end until 11pm. I sometimes take a nap with the kiddo but that's not typical. My homework is usually too much for me to be able to lay down! Today it's Politics class that's got me stressing out. I have a LOAD to do..so I'm going to go away now and get cracking. I'll update my plans as I go along.

Edited to add: Totally not cool! Colin was supposed to come home a bit ago but he hasn't called me :( We just ate our pancakes without him and Trent is in the bath. I'm not worried though, he is supposed to work til 8pm most days but still..a simple call would suffice. Sometimes men can be a bit unthinking..is that a word?

Intro's and Whatnots..

Well I guess it won't due to start a blog without introducing myself properly. I'm a very feisty lady..very strongly opinionated and down right sassy! *I sound like a new perfume!* I'm starting this blog to sort of work out some of the frustrations that goes along with being a stay at home mother. My situation is very different than most considering I do work at home as well as go to school. I don't make nearly as much as my husband but I do put in the hours! My son is starting school soon so this will also throw a monkey wrench into the works, but for now this is my life.

First off..here is my family: (pictures coming up)
This is me and my boy this last summer. (sorry for the wobbly pic my scanner is stupid)










This is my husband and son together at the park.













We are simply horrid at taking pictures so I probably won't post as many.

Basically here are the characters in my life's story.

Colin-32, weight-(he'd kill me for mentioning it) height-about 6'2
Trent-4, weight-40.5lbs, height-3'7
Melissa-28, weight-enough to make me cry, height-4'11

So there you go! Now my next few posts will be about my daily life and all that fun stuff. Sit back and enjoy...